There are many important steps for people to take once they decide to divorce. Securing an attorney and learning about state law are both crucial steps for the protection of divorcing individuals. Before sitting down to negotiate with a spouse or turning up in family court, people may also want to set practical, achievable goals for each of the outstanding issues they must address during the divorce.
Financial support, property division and parenting matters are typically the three types of issues couples need to address during divorce negotiations. Setting goals related to those matters early in the divorce process can be beneficial for the three reasons outlined below.
Divorce emotions can overwhelm people
Many people have a hard time controlling their emotional responses throughout the divorce process. Even people who are usually rational and pragmatic may make unreasonable decisions based on their feelings in the moment during a divorce. For example, people may fight with their spouses over seemingly minor resources or technical details of a parenting plan. People who set goals aside can potentially focus on those goals and use them as a tool to control their emotional reactions.
Goals can help keep costs reasonable
Without clear goals to help people acknowledge when their arrangements are appropriate, they may continue arguing with their spouses. Some people keep pushing for more until it becomes impossible to compromise. People can become so fixated on winning each little battle that they set themselves up for a contested divorce. Such scenarios often result in far more expensive divorces, as litigated divorce proceedings tend to cost substantially more than divorces where spouses settle and successfully pursue uncontested divorces.
Focus can lead to greater satisfaction with the outcome
Few people are necessarily happy about divorce, but people can feel like they secured the best possible outcome. Everyone has certain concerns that matter more to them than others during divorce. For some people, the main goal might be keeping the family dog. For others, avoiding the division of a retirement account may be their number one priority. Those who identify their goals early on may ultimately feel more satisfied with the outcome of the divorce process provided that they achieve those goals.
Discussing what happens during a divorce with a skilled legal team can help spouses create reasonable and achievable goals to guide them throughout the process. People who set goals when strategizing for divorce may benefit substantially from that decision.